Medical Aid in Dying
He Wanted to Die in Peace
From the beginning, Mykl was clear that he wanted to understand his end-of-life options, including medical aid in dying. This was his decision. Not mine.
There were other deeply personal decisions along the way as well, whether he wanted a feeding tube, whether he wanted invasive ventilation, what interventions he wanted and what he didn’t. Sometimes he asked me, “What would you do?” I never answered. I loved him too much to risk influencing a decision that belonged entirely to him.
I listened. I asked questions. I helped him find accurate information. I held his hand. But he was the person living with ALS. These were his decisions to make.
For Mykl, medical aid in dying ultimately became one final expression of autonomy after ALS had taken away control over his body. Near the end of his life, he chose to use California’s medical-aid-in-dying law. Since he chose the date of his death, we had the unusual and difficult experience of knowing when our time together would end.
The night before, Mykl told me he was ready. He had no regrets. We said what we needed to say. We made it to the end together, safely, with love, dignity, and respect. That was what he asked for at the beginning. He wanted to die in peace. And he did. Knowing that he was ready, that he had no regrets, and that we had made it to the end the way he wanted was a gift he gave me that night. I will carry it with me for the rest of my life.
Understanding Medical Aid in Dying
Mykl’s choices were his own. Every person and family will approach end-of-life decisions differently. We share our experience not to suggest what anyone else should choose, but because people living with ALS deserve access to clear information about the options available to them and the ability to make informed decisions about their own care.
Medical Aid in Dying is available in some states under specific laws and requirements. If you or someone you care for is considering this option, it is important to understand the law in your state and speak with qualified medical professionals who can explain what options may be available to you.
